The objective term becoming subjective

The perspective of “time...”

In the span of the last twenty-four hours, I have decided that time is not a simple objective measurement. Sure, it is “measurable” but it is also incredibly subjective as well. I thought for sure this week would go by so slowly because I am anticipating Friday. Today, however, went by so quickly. I was busy, but no more than normal. It just seemed like 10am-5pm went by in the blink of an eye. So what is it that makes our bodies respond differently time the concept of time? Is it sleep, metabolism, mood, hormones, etc.? Sadly, I don't have the answer. I don't really even have an opinion. I just find it intriguing that such an objective term like “time” can become so subjective. Hmph. 

Just loving people

Dogs have been taken out, doors locked, showered, and all ready for bed... Then it hits me and plays on repeat. So here's tonight's: ((From Garth Brooks' “People Loving People.”

The chorus line goes something like this:
the answer to the problem is/the solution is so simple

People loving people
That's the enemy of everything that's evil

Ain't no quick fix at the end of a needle
It's just people loving people.

It then goes along to talk about where the answer isn't: in words, lies, fear, color, culture, kings/queens, etc. But rather that it starts with a world full of hurting loving one another.

As a Christian I try so hard to love every person I meet. Of course it's insanely difficult to see that ONE person out an about that you just want to roll your eyes and think REALLY!? So many people-Christian and otherwise- sit on a pedestal and peer down at those that haven't found Christ yet and take pity on them. It's not intentional and I don't think all people know they do it. I've been on both sides of the coin. When I was blinded by the blur of life, I never asked for nor wanted pity from anyone. I was happy and life was good... I just didn't know HOW good it could be-so I had nothing to compare it to.

Love is one emotion, one feeling, one expression that translates through all languages, religions, cultures, races, ethnicity, etc. Love should so freely given that we don't even have to try. We shouldn't notice ourselves loving others while in the world. At first it may be a conscious effort, but will quickly become routine.

I have always been a supporter of love. It often comes off as over-trusting, naive, optimistic, etc. but it comes back to love. Yes, a person may have said hurtful things, been cruel to me or my family/friends, or done other less-than-pleasant things-but all is forgiven and I still have a love for them. I may not like them or intentionally put myself in their presence, but I would still love them, give to them, and help them when they needed it.

This is why I rarely mention subjects of politics, religion, or other touchy subjects. When we delve into things that are so controversial, things frequently become intentionally hurtful. Do I think others (politicians for example) can do better at their jobs? Of course! But I also know that not one of us gives 100% every day at work. We are tired, we are stressed, overwhelmed, etc. and that inhibits our efficiency. Until I am placed in their shoes, I will not criticize the work of others based on what I think should be done. Maybe some day, I will run for public office and see how well I do, but probably not.

No matter what the question, the answer is love. If you can't start a “hot-topic” discussion and monitor it consistently to check for honesty, truthfulness, and love, then don't start it. Not everyone is so caring and considerate. I want the readers of my thoughts to know that they are welcome to share ((LOVING & TRUTHFUL)) thoughts without hurting others. It's not wishy-washy or riding the fence. It's making an extraordinary effort to love others.

I have no doubt that in the “big picture” of life, if you live with the purpose of loving others, you will be fully and truly happy. There may be hurtful moments, but loving others will heal the wounds and make you a stronger, more powerful lover.

Lyrics for "People Loving People" by Garth Brooks

http://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/garthbrooks/peoplelovingpeople.html  

Spoons and Struggles

I was THIS close to turning off and turning in for the night. Suddenly it starts really raining which immensely relaxes me and lets my mind wander. (OH NO, right!?) I read an article the other day that I thoroughly enjoyed. It is the “spoon” theory for relating to unseen medical conditions, in the example given it is Lupus. However, it relates to many more illnesses than just Lupus, but it is comparable to many other illnesses.

You may look at a person and see a normal, happy, healthy individual. You may see a normal body with healthy features. Some people have visible illnesses, whether it is a skin condition or abrasion, missing or unusable limbs, utilization of mobility aides, deformities, communication problems, etc., the list really is endless. Even these people with “visible” conditions may struggle with far more than what our eyes can see. In a world where we rely so heavily on our vision to aide our routine, we become dependent on what our eyes see and interpret. We know (thanks to the State Farm commercial) that “everything you read on the internet has to be true” because it is a satirical commercial making the statement laughable and untrue. The same is true with how we see and judge those around us. We should be training our brains to learn “everything you see must be right” is an untrue statement.

I know for the most part (withholding my unique quirks like crazy fashion, nail art, strange reasoning, etc.) I look like a normal person without limitation or defect. I also FEEL like a “normal” person for the most part. The things that make me different have become such a part of my everyday life that I no longer realize they are abnormal. Every morning, I have to sit momentarily to wait for the ice-pick pains to reside. Then I have to “carefully” stumble out of bed because I normally feel like I've had about three shots of whiskey or the likes. After about 10-15 minutes, I've regained my equilibrium and can function normally but generally feel like I only slept about 2 hours, regardless of whether it was 6 or 12 or anything in between. This passes after another 15-30 minutes and I can actually start my day. My day goes fairly smoothly without much fuss. Unless of course it is sunny out. Bright sun causes some strain from the eyes and neck, resulting in a migraine by the end of the day. Or if I have to turn from looking back while driving a lot (highway changing lanes, turning into traffic right or left, etc.) Then there are the days that are stressful causing me to clench my teeth, tense my neck, or just be anxious in general that cause frequent ice-pick pains. The more ice-pick pains, the more migraines. This is day in, day out, everyday regardless of work, weekends, etc.

((Ice-pick pains: sharp pains in the forehead feeling similar to what I imagine a small minion using an ice-pick in my brain would feel like. Imagine a short frequent burst of “brain-freeze.” The actual cause is from a blocked flow of cerebral spinal fluid in my posterior fossa at the base of my skull and top of neck. How was that for technical?))

Beyond what feels like normal everyday life, I get to watch my other abilities and skills diminishing. Typing this has taken me twice as long as it would have 2 years ago because I keep missing letters or hitting the wrong key. If I walk through a parking lot, I look like I just left the bar after a long evening of drinking and stagger towards my destination. I walk into walls, doors, objects, etc. usually pretty gracefully. I like to think people don't notice, but I pray some of those around me are a little more perceptive, for their own sake and safety if none else! I have lost so much dexterity that I can barely open a new bottle of pop or packaged candy (where you have to tear open the bag.) I come incredibly close to falling in the shower at least 6 out of 7 times a week. I can't remember the events of two days ago. This seems strange, even for me to say it. I can remember HUGE events...sometimes. I can't oftentimes place when/where something actually happened if I do remember. (Example-I know we had Sonic for dinner this week, but I have no idea what day it was.) I also have little concept of what the date is or how long it takes to get from place to place.

Why does this all matter? Because I struggle with these things EVERYDAY. I struggle with remembering, did I do this yesterday? Have I got it done yet or do I still need to finish it? Can I open this on my own, or will I have to wait for the hubby to get home and rescue his damsel in distress? I have to check and recheck that I've done the necessary tasks for the day? Can I shower without someone home or will I fall and need help? These are the struggles that I personally face everyday that hide beneath a “normal” exterior and a smile upon my face. I keep a positive attitude and outlook because being upset and angry won't change anything. This is the battle that I've been given to walk through and learn from.

I don't share my story for pity or sadness or guilt or any other reason than to encourage people to be open and honest. No matter how we look, act, react, etc., we don't have it all together. No one ever has it completely together. We all have struggles, we all have hurdles, we all have issues. The medical doctor you see who treats you and helps you get well, doesn't have it all together. The police officer who pulls you over to remind you to slow down and follow the rules to protect you, doesn't have it all together. The therapist that helps you deal with your struggles, doesn't have it all together. The dog groomer that loves your pets and treats them so carefully, doesn't have it all together. No one has it all together...ever.

There is an exceptional reason too. Don't be discouraged that you are seeking the “all-together lifestyle” because it quite simply isn't attainable. We cannot have it all until we have Him. We cannot have it all until we are Home. We strive for bigger, better, and right. All those things lie in His Kingdom alone, not on this Earth. So we strive for the best we can to honor him and help each other find the path Home.